Because I’m supposed to be leaving for work this very moment.
Headline in the NY Times:
PETA Slams “Shocking” Hamas TV Clip
That alone is funny. I’m sure Hamas is terrified. Is there possibly a more American protest group than PETA? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a vegetarian that only uses non-animal tested products, etc, [...]

A bridge collapses due to a structural problem. People die. Now that sounds like the work of that radical left wing terrorist group: The Gays. Or Al-Gayda, as I believe they like to be called in their native language (it means, God is Gay, I think).
It’s a good thing we have a [...]