The Idea of Progress was framed.

Google was lead to believe that tIoP was a spam blog.

Google claims that this was the result of a false positive from their little helper robots, who apparently scour the blogosphere in search of crime, sort of like the Transformers, but without the whole transforming or crappy Michael Bay remakes.

tIoP could not access my account, tIoP could not post a lovely entry about common courtesy in movie theaters that he had been composing in his head all day.

The Idea of Progress doesn’t buy that it was a random problem. tIoP knows that someone is trying to put an end to the blog that has not won the Nobel Peace Prize nor the Pulitzer (but did win Sexiest Man Alive), but has nonetheless changed the face of humanity as we now know it.

There is someone out there with his fingerprints all over this. And tIoP is unafraid to air out his suspicions– this madman must be stopped for all that is good and pure in this world, for this soon to be named villain is a threat to our way of life and our very existence. We must draw a line in the sand!

We must rally against…McGone.

Yes, I’ve said it. I hold the International House of Blogcakes responsible for this. It has McGone’s fingerprints all over it.

And I will have my vengeance.

According to Technorati, The Idea of Progress is the 238,665 most popular blog out there.

If you Google “The Idea of Progress,” this blog is currently the 11th hit.

Since its inception, the Idea of Progress has received 9,085 visitors. Five of them were searching for ‘“happy idea” chicken.’

“Happy Idea” chicken.

What the hell does that mean? What could this person want? I can’t figure it out. Whatever it was, the Idea of Progress did provide 5 minutes and 25 seconds of reading enjoyment for this person.

Curious, I googled it myself. The Idea of Progress shows up not once on the first page…but twice. Weird.

Go to Google images, there are no pants-wearing whales to be found. My whale is not present. Google “Mr Splashy Pants” and my blog does come up–on page 13.

But not that image! Instead, it’s the cover of an album I posted six months ago! No splashing or pants or whales to be found! What the F (as the kids say)!

Enter “The Idea of Progress“

First page.

There it is.

The Idea of Progress.

But it’s not #1.

Yet.

Keep up the good work. We’ll get there.

There’s a certain wikiality to this. You see, “The Idea of Progress” is actually a philosophical term. I didn’t know this when I chose the name (I’ve used it for a variety of projects prior to this blog), I just liked the sound of it. Much to my surprise, I like what it actually means, too.

The Idea of Progress may be defined as the belief that, in general, history proceeds in the direction of improved material conditions and a better (i.e., healthier, happier, more secure, more comfortable) life for more and more people. More simply: In the long run, most things get better.

There’s an optimism there that I like. I’m fortunate. It could have meant something like, “The concept that all people really want to listen to John Mayer,” or “The concept that there are many excellent programs on during daytime television.”

So, page 2.

I want to be on page 1.

I’m starting a campaign. Make me #1. Put a link to this blog (http://theideaofprogress.blogspot.com) somewhere. Anywhere. Do it twice. Call your Mom up, have her link it somewhere. Come on, I know your Mom has a blog.

Let’s do this!

-people with three nipples

-”if i had seen the world”

-elvis costello asshole

-famous popular musicians

-geico insurance cabbage patch kids commercials

-girls with assault rifles

-put syrup on pacifier

-teleubbies

-fuck ron paul

-Why would you want to play something as boring as the Sims? If you’re malicious enough, you can make their little AI lives miserable.

From Crooks and Liars.

-Belgian courts have finally done something that American courts have been unable to: bring the Church of Scientology up on criminal charges.

From robmonroe.net.

-The scariest thing you’ll see all week (unless you watched the Klaus Nomi video)

-Have you ever Googled yourself? Perhaps it’s time to learn to Ungoogle yourself. There’s a part in this that mentions that prospective employers will probably Google your name. That’s true. I know, because it’s part of my job (I work at a recruitment firm).

On a previous post, I misspelt the word ‘Teletubbies,” as “Teleubbies.” Months later, the top search term used to find this blog is still ‘Teleubbies.” Even more than Ron Paul.

I had corrected the post to be spelled correctly, but type “teleubbies” into Google and you still end up here. It’s made me think about other common words I could misspell and redirect hits with.

Perhaps ‘Nakd” or “Britny Spears” or “fcking.”

We’ll see what happens.