FEMA wants to be punished.
It’s not that it can’t do a good job, it just likes to be caught making mistakes so it can be spanked. People used to be afraid of FEMA. They thought that it would be used to declare martial law and take over the country. Then [...]

From Reuters:
Woman sets fire to ex-husband’s penis
MOSCOW (Reuters) – A woman set fire to her ex-husband’s penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.
Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was “difficult to predict.”
The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. [...]