Since I’ve been gone for so long, and I switched over to Wordpress, I don’t even have the blog updated. I can’t figure out how to change the strange pictures of Italy at the top, I don’t know why 100,000 categories appear on the left hand side, and most importantly, I don’t have a blogroll set up anymore.

Until today.

I think I’m going to start the blogroll over, and tell you when and why I add people.

Drumroll please.

Grant Miller Media- The first blog I read with any regularity, Mr. Miller returned the favor by occasionally gracing tIoP with his comments and eventually adding the Idea of Progress to his blogroll, which gained it a number of readers.

Of course, since I disappeared, I’ve been removed from his blogroll and he has vanished, along with my dignity and self-respect. Damn you, Miller!

The International House of Blogcakes- Once my sworn enemy, McGone and I have come to an uneasy peace…much like his Magneto to my Professor Xavier.

Adventures in Self-Loathing- Ever since Laaw-yuhr got a job, she’s been mostly absent, but I’m going to put her down here anyway.

Buckle Up With the Guv’ner- I was a big fan of Psychotic Secretary, but since I have been unavailable, it appears she has moved.

EDIT: It looks like she lives here now.

Rocketradio- Katrocket was I believe the first to notice I was back. For that alone, her wit, charm and talent nonwithstanding, she gets on here.

I have about five more I want to post, but I need to get my day moving, so maybe tomorrow. If you’re not on here and you think you should be, well, I will probably add you tomorrow.

But.

I may as well throw a little politics into the mix. Seems Sarah Palin was actually on McCain’s list of objectionable pork spending. You know, back when he had opinions of his own. Interesting.

There’s a certain wikiality to this. You see, “The Idea of Progress” is actually a philosophical term. I didn’t know this when I chose the name (I’ve used it for a variety of projects prior to this blog), I just liked the sound of it. Much to my surprise, I like what it actually means, too.

The Idea of Progress may be defined as the belief that, in general, history proceeds in the direction of improved material conditions and a better (i.e., healthier, happier, more secure, more comfortable) life for more and more people. More simply: In the long run, most things get better.

There’s an optimism there that I like. I’m fortunate. It could have meant something like, “The concept that all people really want to listen to John Mayer,” or “The concept that there are many excellent programs on during daytime television.”

So, page 2.

I want to be on page 1.

I’m starting a campaign. Make me #1. Put a link to this blog (http://theideaofprogress.blogspot.com) somewhere. Anywhere. Do it twice. Call your Mom up, have her link it somewhere. Come on, I know your Mom has a blog.

Let’s do this!

-Your post, The Forevertron, or The Idea of Progress Hits the Road, redefined the entire concept of blogging as the world knows this. How has this affected your marital life?-

How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not married. I’ve never been married, maybe I will get married one day, but I’m currently not. And I never marched with Communists in Sweden. That’s all a lie.

-That directly contradicts something that you’ve previously written.-

Since when does anyone believe anything I’ve ever written? And where’s my drink? You promised me whisky if I consented to this interview, and all you’ve provided is Jack Daniels.

-Jack Daniels is whiskey-

[sweeps bottle off of table] I demand George Dickel!

-So, what are you drinking these days?-

I don’t drink.

-You been passed over for the Nobel Peace Prize again this year. Has this affected your friendship with Al Gore, the Dalai Lama or Henry Kissinger?-

I’d like to set the record straight on this one. I am not friends with Kissinger. I needed a kidney, he had a kidney, end of story.

-Will you be running for President this election?-

Did Jimmy put you up to this? [Expletive deleted] this, I’m leaving.

“He was 100 feet tall, I tell you!” local hipster Jack ‘Green’ Beane told the Associated Press on Monday. “He was stepping on buildings and tossing cars around like playthings! It was horrible!”

Local resident Jorge Garcia disagreed. “Él era un hombre muy apuesto! Él puede casarse con alguno de mis hermosas hijas.”

It seems that the Idea of Progress has returned to the blogonetosphere 2.0. May God have mercy on our souls.

Tonight, meet your favorite authors (and me)! Drink beer with them! Buy them (me) more beer! How often do these people even leave their computers? Tonight’s your night!

Feed the Beast
4300 N. Lincoln Ave.
7pm-10pmish

Celebrity bloggers include:

Johnny Yen!
The Evil Genius!
Grant Miller!

(and me)

Blogarrific Blogstravaganza 2007! Be there, or be…DEAD!

I don’t want to destroy the world. The world is where all of the pretty girls live.

But I bring this up, because The Idea of Progress is becoming more powerful than any of us could have imagined. Yes, it’s happened.

I’ve been linked to.

Not by one of my fellow bloggers, but by the Isthmus, an alternative weekly paper from Madison, WI. It ain’t the New York Times, but I’ll take it.

In my eyes, they are.

I thought I’d return the favor by mentioning some fine entries I have been privileged to read.

-Speaking of Save Your Generation, a lovely post was written by Pistols at Dawn about the most popular searches that lead to his site, which this week was “Giving herpes to my wife.” If you’d like to know more about this, perhaps you should visit.

-I would like to draw your attention to a blog Jesus Christ himself might have penned, if he was only more handsome and lived in St. Charles, the mighty Grant Miller Media. You should do yourself a favor and read his incisive commentary into why Huggies CleanTeam Soap proved far more useful than even its developers could have envisioned.

-A difficult blog name to spell: Weltanschau*ng. Difficult words in this post to spell: quinoa, tzatziki, cacık.

-RocketRadio has pictures of Britney Spears wearing no pants, and David Hasselhoff wearing a thong and a leather jacket. I’m sure it’s a great article, but those two images prevented me from focusing on anything else. I know something about pants. Or lack of pants.

-McGone over at The International House of Blogcakes wants to make love to Paul Rudd. I think.

-Cipher Theory wants to tell you all about Ben Stein’s new movie. I’ll give you a hint. Kirk Cameron, Billy Graham, Grant Miller* and George W. Bush could all watch it and be happy.

*not because he’s religious, but because he is a huge Growing Pains fan

A link that links to me. Now that’s meta.

–What the hell is a fuck lion?

–Grant Miller Media discusses a possible candidate for President: Princes Christina Gerasimos Billings-Elias. In case you’re wondering, she’s a Democrat.

–Is jatropha going to be the next cheap biofuel? (It’s a weed, but not that one)

–It’s Xenu vs. Tom Cruise. Who will triumph?

Onwards and upwards.