The Idea of Progress » beatles

Bad, Idea of Progress, Bad!

The Idea of Progress — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:48:00 +0000

I make a point to attribute most things I post here. I don’t like to take credit for anyone else’s work because it is dishonest, and it gives license for others to steal my comic gold (or comedy spray painted a golden color, which I feel is mostly the same thing).

And so the Idea of Progress was mortified to realize he had posted the following photo and not attributed it to the owner:

The photograph originally came from John Baird’s Flickr page. I don’t remember if I took it from there, or if I found it on Google after someone else stole it (I assume the latter, but I can’t remember for sure).

The Idea of Progress would like to extend an apology to Mr. Baird.

In light of this disclosure, tIoP would like to make the following admissions:

-I did not write the second uncredited draft of the Geneva Convention, the one where Harry Potter dies in the end.

-I did not create the beloved character of Jar-Jar Binks.

-I only won the Tour de France three times, not four. I was doping for one of those.

-I was not the governor of Nevada. I just told that to girls as a pickup line.

-While I am an ordained reverend (thank you, internet!), I am not the Pope.

-My tears are not diamonds, merely cubic zirconium

-I was not the fifth Beatle. I was the 17th (after Donovan but before Frampton)

-While I can fly higher than an eagle, I am not the wind beneath your wings.

I apologize for any inconvenience caused by previous statements.

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Download of the Day

The Idea of Progress — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 02:46:00 +0000

Rather than give you one track today, I’m going to hook you up with something really special. WARNING: If you would be upset at John Lennon acting like an drugged up asshole, read no further.

Still with me?

The only recording ever made of John Lennon and Paul McCartney post Beatles, A Toot and a Snore is a lot of background talking, with a bunch of famous people (Stevie Wonder, possibly Ringo, Harry Nilsson) playing on a few tracks. Lennon is clearly coked up, and keeps offering or asking for more, screaming when things aren’t going his way. It’s a disturbing portrait of a man coming apart at the seams.

The whole album is available through a fine blog called Licorice Pizza. I am much indebted to him for this recording.

So, click here to download.

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God Hates Statues, or Pointing Fingers at Others

The Idea of Progress — Wed, 23 May 2007 19:12:00 +0000

It seems to me that every time we hear of a flood or earthquake or terrorist attack, the blame lay on the ’sinners.’ “It’s because people are gay/ voting Democrat/ listening to rock music/ fornicating without permission from the church.” God hates everyone that we do.

Well, lightning struck a statue of Jesus this week in Colorado. I’m assuming by that rationale that God either hates statues or Jesus, I can’t figure out which. It reminds me of an event in the 1960’s…It was during the whole “The Beatles are bigger than Jesus” debacle. Seems that a radio staion in Texas was broadcasting anti-Beatle sentiments, and the tower was destroyed by lighting. Now that’s funny.

This reminds me of the late (not late enough) Jerry Falwell. I don’t know if you saw Christopher Hitchens on Hannity and Colmes (and I can understand if you, like me, would rather have your prostate checked than watch Fox News), but it’s really funny.

Bill Maher had a lot of things to say, too. I usually consider him a blowhard like Dennis Miller, but I have to admit, I thought this was amusing.

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Talk about last week’s news. I just want to remind everyone that he’s gone.

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