Gaffe.

Everytime they mention Joe Biden, they talk about his “verbal gaffes.”

Gaffe?

Who talks like that?  Prior to the election, I rarely heard that word.  Now, every goddamn mention of Biden uses it.

Find a new word, newspeople.  Seriously.  You have a thesaurus.

The end.

As of yesterday, the Idea of Progress was against the idea of teaching religion in schools.  Intelligent Design was at best an excuse to point and laugh at the zealots.

That was yesterday.  Today the Idea of Progress has learned of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and has decided to become a Pastatarian.

What is this proof that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world?  Well, according to the website of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:

We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is.

For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

Good enough for me!  Also, they have an excellent website (with games!) and Facebook page, which is a necessity for getting the Idea of Progress involved.  Also, a write-up in the New York Times.  The above text is actually from a letter that Church founder Bobby Henderson sent to the Kansas School Board, threatening to sue if they wouldn’t teach about the Flying Spaghetti Monster alongside the other, lesser theory of Intelligent Design.  This is a church I can get behind.

They also proclaim that the uptick in global warming is due to the decrease in the global pirate population, as depicted in this graph:

Also, their heaven has a beer volcano and a stripper factory.

So, in summation, I have decided that this evidence is good enough for me.

Photo from Verbal Diarrhoea.

“We believe at this point that human-to-human spread is occurring. That’s unusual.”

Arthur passed away today– her family said she had cancer, but wouldn’t give out any further details.

According to IMDB, her last two roles were on Curb Your Enthusiasm and Futurama.  Good choices, if you ask me.

I miss the International House of Blogcakes.

The real problem is that too often we don’t have the courage to sustain wonder. Susan Boyle walked onto that stage and faced down a sea of smug. We need that kind of courage nowadays, and not just on reality shows. We need the courage to believe that stirring voices can be found in unlikely places.

-Tom Bergeron (yes, that Tom Bergeron), host of “Dancing With the Stars

Well said, my good man.  Well said.

SCTV Parody of Michael McDonald

From SCTV. Remember when Rick Moranis was funny?