Dear Fred Thompson,
Running for President was hard, wasn’t it? I mean, all of that talking, and walking, and being nice to people and all of that. It’s not the same as sitting on your front porch drinking lemonade, or fly fishing, or whatever real Americans do.
It’s hard work!
I understand why you decided to drop out. You don’t have your experience as a POW to draw from, or being the Mayor of 9/11, or the idea that Jesus came to America, and that the Native Americans are really Jewish. All that you had was the misguided belief that you were Reagan incarnate (maybe because you’re an actor, too?).
But look at it this way. Now no one can say that you’re running a worse campaign than that cousin-marrying Rudy Giuliani. And that’s something.
Your Pal,
The Idea of Progress
Dear Diary,
Today I learned something on The Idea of Progress’ blog. Usually I get all my political news from A Daily Show. From now on this is where I’ll get all future news on Republican candidates. I am now a fan of TIoP.
- Rider
P.S. I wonder how much lazier Fred Thompson will be now. At least he has a hot wife who loves him no matter what.
That oughtta pick his spirits right up!
Maybe we can throw him a parade or something to cheer him up.
I didn’t know you two were friends. How sweet. Maybe he’ll invite you over for lemonade.
With the Daily Show and Colbert Report sucking massive yank sans writers, it’s finally your time to shine, baby!