Press Conference with Sen. Patrick Leahy (D- VT)
I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of you who made it to this press conference today, despite the weather.
The Idea of Progress has left the city. Now, now, I don’t want anyone to panic, he hasn’t gone far. However, he discovered yesterday that he lost out to Bells On for the prestigious 2007 Drysdale awards. It seems some people felt the the Idea of Progress was not the Least Influential Political Blog out there.
No, he didn’t take it well. He also received a letter rejecting a short story of his for publication in the local alternative weekly.
He did feel the story was inferior, that is to be certain, but the sting of such rejection felt twice in one day was enough to send him away to, as he said, “find himself.”
He will return soon, he said–after a period of rest and reflection.
Now, I will take any questions from the press.
Well, you were the “originally chosen” Sexiest Man Alive. That should make you happy, right?
see? you have more influence than the least influential… so you falied at failure… yeah, you need a break
Katarose, ITT magazine. Sir, how do you respond to allegations that you employed undocumented workers between 2001 and 2006 and that you fathered a child with one of your employees during that time period?
Failure is a part of life, sir. Not my life, of course, because I am a goddamned winner in all things, including the 2007 Drysdales. But there are a lot of other losers out there, probably in a group on craigslist or something.
You are number one in our hearts, Progress.
Those local alternative weeklies are bastards.
We, the losers, should get together and commiserate.