The Idea of Progress Knows Where You’ve Been
There has been a lack of comments of late here at the Idea of Progress. There could be many reasons for this. I feel that many readers may perhaps be spending their free time preparing for Thanksgiving. With the holiday only 26 hours away, there is still much preparation to be done.
Perhaps many of you have been shopping for Christmas presents. Thanksgiving hasn’t occurred yet, but that hasn’t stopped the decorations from being…er…decorated, and the holiday sales to begin.
Perhaps you’ve tired of the ceaseless attacks against the Idea of Progress from the International House of Blogcakes.
There is a possibility that you’ve abandoned blogs altogether in protest of the mockery of this year’s Sexiest Man Alive (no, the award went to Matt Damon. Maybe if the Idea of Progress was friends with Kevin Smith, he would have received it this year, but no, all that he had to go on was his incredible sexiness, which apparently isn’t enough these days).
Perhaps you’ve been abducted by Jehovah’s witnesses, and then violated by Scientologists.
Perhaps you’re writing your novel.
These are all possible reasons.
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However, the Idea of Progress knows where you are. You’ve been preparing all week for Monday, November 26th. You’ve been preparing for The Idea of Progress Day. I know you’ve been fine-tuning that blog entry, putting the finishing touches on that sock puppet, stocking up on all of that cheap whiskey.
The Idea of Progress understands. And he approves.
Was Kevin Smith behind Damon’s rise to the top sexiest spot?
I’ve got 60 seconds set aside for you on the 26th. Whether that 60 seconds will result in a celebratory doodle or a minute of solemn, contemplative silence is yet to be determined.
I’ve actually been very busy waiting for you to send me a message on facebook. Oh, and getting ready for the most important day of the year: my birthday.
I’ve been drinking and crying, but so much of the former that I’ve been distilling my tears, which are 40 proof, and drinking them.
Actually, more people are expected online Monday than any other day in year. So don’t be surprised to see a spike in traffic.
Oh and God bless!
I’ve been very busy working on my float for IOP Day. Crepe paper and daisies don’t just attach THEMSELVES to my 1982 Buick Regal, you know.
Question- do you spell “blasphemer” oops! I mean, “hero” with one r or two?
I’ve been reading along, but not commenting. I’m saving all my creative energy for my Idea of Progress Birthday Post on Monday, which is gonna blow yer fuckin doors off.
MATT DAMON!
oh… wait a minute… is Monday your birthday? Or is it the self-proclaimed holiday of a megalomaniac?
My research team demands answers.
I’ve been busy silkscreening t-shirts for The Idea Of Progress Day.