McGone Arrested–Followers Take to the Streets
Associated Press
CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) – In what was described as a “madhouse” by one startled onlooker, followers of the International House of Blogcakes, described by authorities as more of a cult than a religion, took to the streets in protest of the arrest of their leader, celebrity blogger and fashion icon “Mad Dog” McGone.
McGone (age unknown) was apprehended by authorities in Reno this weekend during a routine traffic violation. Arresting officers suspected something amiss when McGone could neither produce identification nor identify what country he was in.
Followers of the reclusive McGone reacted with violence at the events of the weekend. Protests were held in Boise, Topeka and Shanghai, and a candlelight vigil was held outside of the San Diego Comic Convention (though it was not being held at this time of year). Over thirty demonstrators were arrested, and another “sixty or seventy” tasered into submission.
“It was disgusting,” remarked Boise resident Jerry Rasmussen, “People like this shouldn’t be allowed to walk the same streets as the rest of us.”
McGone is due in court in January to face charges of treason, murder in the first degree, and mail fraud. He is the primary suspect in the deaths of nearly 40 small children and farm animals, and has been sought by police for nearly a year.
McGone could not be reached for comment, but a statement was read to the press from his lawyer, Zombie Johnnie Cochrane, “My client is far too feeble-minded to have committed these heinous acts. Perhaps if he was hopped up on goofballs or Jolt, he could have done it. Although now that I mention it, I did see him drinking a Red Bull the other day.”
wow.
Serenity now.
oh look! that’s me way in back…way way in back…
Incredible! Free McGone!
This story is also incredible because Johnny Cochrane is dead.
I’m sorry, I omitted an important word when I transcribed this from the teletype machine. I meant to type “Zombie Johnnie Cochrane.”
It has been corrected. The Idea of Progress regrets the error.
Are you a writer for “The Onion”? You should be.
I say Electric Chair.
I know for a fact McGone is 57, but claims he’s much younger.
I am so tired of the Evil Triad of Shanghai, Boise, and Topeka mucking things up for the rest of us.
As a show of solidarity, I will be paying the salaries of the entire IHOB staff out of my gigantic candy stash. Management will recieve salt water taffy, everyone else will get whatever is left.
No IHOB staffer will go hungry during this difficult time.
And that is why Whiskeymarie is my favorite blogger.
Other than that… I still have no comment.